i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
You ruined the universe
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize