but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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