My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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