You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I had to cum in my sink.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
