Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
This is the prime rib incident all over again
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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