i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Randomize
