she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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