so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
