Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
