The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
