Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
