Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize