I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I just want to make out with him forever
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
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