Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize