you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
i would one night stand the shit outta him
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
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