dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
