i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
