I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
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