apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
