i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Randomize
