so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
