She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
