I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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