Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
