We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
