i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
