how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
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