the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
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