Plan B is the new Plan A
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
