I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
