Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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