The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
