dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
