i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
