she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Randomize
