i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
