I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
