3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
