remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
His nipple licking is glorious
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