don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
