Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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