I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize