So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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