Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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