Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
