I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
