How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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