I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
i just google imaged poop.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
