When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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