dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
