Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
