I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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