Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
