She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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