Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
