i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize