i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Randomize
