Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
