Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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