That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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