Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
