We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
worst night to have a conscience
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
