bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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