doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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