We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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