Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
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