There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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