at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize