i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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