Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
