I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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