If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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